As of last night, I am an official high school graduate. This moment came and went with peace. I was extremely unsure of how I would feel in this moment. With past experiences with major life change, I have not reacted well (months of not fun depression and loneliness), so I was extremely anxious for a retriggering of sorts.
Thankfully I prepared for the day well. I asked many brothers and sisters for prayer weeks leading up to this night. Let me tell you- the Lord is so faithful through prayer and don't you ever forget that. I felt that the Lord was calling me to hand the day over to Him and that's exactly what I did. Instead of passing the time by watching another episode of House on Netflix, I would work on studying and memorizing a new passage of Scripture. Instead of jamming out to loads of One Direction, I shuffled through some Hillsong and Rend. This gave me a lot more peace than any earthly thing could have.
As a now high school graduate unemployed adult, I have been observing my peers and seeing all that they are doing. I noticed that loads of people my age were out in the world experiencing, living, and seeing the world! By comparison, I couldn't help but feel that I am missing out. There are so many things to be done and so many places to see. I've grown in a lower end middle-class family the majority of my life so growing up we never went on family trips. I found myself disappointed with my life and felt like I was going nowhere and doing nothing when there is so much out there. I was not content with where I was.
The more I continued to think about all the different places I wish I could be and all the things I wish I could be doing, it hit me. God has me where I am for a purpose. Luckily, where I am is my beautiful hometown that I love so much (I mean tourists flood the city year round for a reason right?). Proverbs 19:21 offers a humbling reminder- "Many are the plans in the minds of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand". My walk with the Lord the past two months has been almost nonexistent. I've been filling my time with other idols rather than prioritizing intimate time with God. I feel the Lord telling me to dwell where I am. He is calling me to be still in the present- to listen, to learn, and to grow. He will guide me through this. In the words of Psalm 37:7, "be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him". He will work. He has a perfect and ultimate plan and it holds more than you can ever imagine!
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